Relax ND fans…I’m not going to the game!

Posted: October 17, 2013 by epschoet in Uncategorized


I love this rivalry. This is the only rivalry that gets two different parts of the country to hate each other for a week. You have the left coast against the midwest, warm weather vs the cold weather, Catholics vs the smoke doping surfers, etc. Here are a few things that I thought I would bring to your attention:

1.) Did you know that Notre Dame has more players(12) on their roster from California than any other state?

2.) Notre Dame hasn’t beaten USC in South Bend since 2001(Pete Carroll’s first year).

3.) My father n law has the actual game ball of his last game on his mantle, the USC game in 1968…a 21-21 tie. Yes that’s right the ball that OJ Simpson carried is on his mantle. There were a couple of great coaches on the sideline that day: John McKay, Ara, and Mike Holmgren(back up QB for USC).

I am happy to announce that I am not going to be in South Bend this year…(wait for applause)…because I have taken down the Irish single-handedly in this series. Jesus gave me one victory…a great come from behind victory…Marinovich taking smack…”gut check” quote from Holtz…my brothers selling their tickets to a damn Asian female  Trojan fan…oh the memories.

Now for the losses:

1998- Jarious Jackson blew out his knee in the finale home game against LSU. Guess what…I was at that game…and little did the Irish faithful know…I already bought my airfare to Cali. I didn’t learn my lesson and took my jinxed ass out to the west coast to visit my cousin Danny. End result…USC shut out The Irish 10-0. Oh yeah…did I mention Arnaz Battle fumbled on the 1 yard line? Foreshadowing is a bitch!!!

2005- The Bush Push!!! The greatest atmosphere that I have ever been in. I sat 20 rows up in the student section. Kirk Herbstreit, who was right in front of us, stated that it was the loudest he has ever heard Notre Dame Stadium. Little did the Irish faithful know that I was in the stadium…that is why that on 4th and 9…Leinart completes a 70 yard pass. Leinart fumble goes out of bounds…the Bush Push…clock striking zero…fans running onto the field…mer child’s play when it come to my jinxing web that I weave.

2009-Another great game. Notre Dame found itself down 34-14 with 13:33 left in the 3rd quarter. Clausen and Tate led the Irish back to within a td. ND had the ball inside the 5 yard line but WR Duval Kamara slipped in the end zone on the final play. Too bad Michael Floyd did not play in the game. Little did Kamara know that was sitting in the stands that day.

2011- This was going to be the game that made all the past losses go away. I was so confident going into this game: ND was a 9 point favorite, new Gold helmets, “Crazy Train” blaring, 50 top recruits on campus…no match for my hex and my black cat ass. I had to prove to myself that the South Florida game was a fluke. No way two 99 yard fumble returns could happen in the same season under my watch. God tried to get me out of the stadium during the South Florida game with a deluge, heavy winds, lighting, and thunder. But I returned to the scene of the crime…as if to say in a Yul Brenner kind of voice…”Where is your God now Moses?” My false Idol…Dayne Crist(not to be mistaken with Christ)….did not let me down. He opened my eyes to my true power…the power of the jinx.


Conclusion– Just like there are 2 sides of the Force, there are 2 sides of the jinx. Those who don’t believe in it…and those who believe in it, knows its power, and yields to it. If you do not believe in the jinx…you are doomed to repeat it. I have seen the light…I will not go to another Notre Dame home game…until… next year. There is no way that the football gods would ruin my son’s first game…his name is Rudy for god’s sake!

  1. jmklee says:

    So let it be written, so let it be done.

    Are you a master builder or a master butcher?


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