Two Girls, One Cart. Oh and a kid. The tale of the white trash Wal-Mart fight.

Posted: June 8, 2015 by jmklee in Uncategorized

Picture this, I’m walking through the Beech Grove Wal-Mart Saturday evening with my 5-year-old daughter.  We were making our way back to the toy section when we crossed paths with a woman who appeared to be in her late 60’s, early 70’s sporting a purple t-shirt that read, Friends with Benefits.  True story.  It took me a couple seconds to register what I had just seen but at the end of the day I had made the conscious decision to go to the Beech Grove Wal-Mart so I kinda deserved it.

At the time I didn’t think too much about it.  I mean, I was in Beech Grove after all, that is just what happens there.  I told my wife about it, sent a tweet and moved on.  Well that was until today when I saw this epic display of white trash.

Not suitable for WORK and Young ears and eyes.  (unless you live in Beech Grove and well I’m sure they have seen the neighbors make meth so go for it!)

I know, disturbing on so many levels but the cold hard truth is these people live among us and like the cockroaches they resemble they will be hard to get rid of.  So let’s do the only thing we can do.  Shame them.

1.  Of course fat stripper #1 was in a motorized cart and of course she jumped out of said cart ready to throw down like Layla Ali.  Did I miss Benny Hinn running in and start healing folk in the video or what?

Benny_hinn_2

Maybe she it was a ploy and she had planned a sneak attack the whole time like a WWE wrestler hobbling to the ring with crutches only to jump up and hit the other guy with the crutches.

2.  The future convict kid is named Johnny.  Could this be the same little Johnny I have heard all those jokes about over the years?  Not sure if the timeline holds up but that kid sure fits the mold of all those dirty jokes I have heard.

3.  Where the hell is security?  The combined length of the videos is around 4 minuets and I’m sure this started well before the goober started recording.  FYI to the Store Manager, if a large group of hillbillies are assembling together at the end of an isle and it is not the day after Thanksgiving there is probably a problem or about to be one.  Just saying.

4.  Who stands around to watch this?  There was a good number of people that thought it would be a good idea to take in this wholesome family fun.  They when some of them was trying to tell the kid to stop hitting and kicking fat stripper #1 some lady told him he was doing right to protect him mom.  What!?!  I also loved the women giving out free legal advise as to why you don’t try to break up the fight in fear of getting sued.  I’m just going out on a limb here but if you are standing in the Beech Grove Wal-Mart watching a fight between two women and a kid then you don’t have much to your name worth being sued over.  I don’t think you will have to worry about the Pontiac Sunbird with different color doors and hood being awarded to fat stripper #2 in a court of law because you attempted to keep these to from wasting any more shampoo.

5.  Did Johnny really just squirt conditioner all over fat stripper #1?  Ok, I have to give it up to Little Johnny on this one.  The people just told him to not hit or kick her.  They didn’t say anything about covering her face in goo.

Well there you have it.  Now you know why I drive the extra 7.5 miles to go to the Greenwood Wal-Mart.

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